New Seasons...

Well.... I guess it's an entirely new season from the last time I posted.  Literally, it is 11 degrees outside.  Emotionally, mentally, and all other "llys" you could probably come up with.

I guess I should probably mention that is August (before my last post) we moved in with my parents.  I April, we decided it was maybe time for us to try the whole house buying adventure.  We found a house that we really liked and put a contract in knowing full well it could be a few months since it was a short sale.  Through miscommunication, we had to move out of our apartment at the end of July.  That was rough.  Those apartments, the one bedroom at first and then the two bedroom had been our whole lives together.  It's where we moved on our wedding night.  It's where we had a gigantic tv that took up a whole corner of our little living room and the color was off but where Lyndsay came over every Tuesday night to watch Stargate Atlantis and knit.  It's where we found our Steve kitty and started to build our lego Taj Mahal! The two bedroom is where my sister and I stayed up until 2 A.M painting our whole living room and dining room red the night before my brother's highschool graduation.  It's where two weeks later we found out we were going to have a baby.  It's where I came home to after leaving that baby 11 week premature at the hospital for the next 88 days.  It's where I started watching Harper's Island and Revenge even though I had avoided them, but pop-pop insisted they were the best shows and I should watch them, and so I did.  It's where Oliver slept next to me for 6 months, rolled over to his belly, ate peas, learned to walk, said his first words.  It's also where we had a marital glitch in our lives and where we decided it was just a glitch and that we weren't going anywhere.  And in the mean time it was where we had finished the Taj Mahal :)  It's also where I had three hermit crabs and lost three hermit crabs.... never again, never never never!  Importantly, it's also where I became friends with Jeanne again after 7 years.  Thank goodness.  So those are just some of the reasons leaving was hard, not all by any means.  Four years behind the doors that all looked the same from the outside, but held entire lives behind them, my were they memorable.

But here we are six months later and the world keeps turning and making new memories, mostly great ones, some bittersweet.  Sometimes I am very very thankful that we had to move in here.  It sometimes seems like God knows what is going to happen and sets it up accordingly.  One good perk of being here, besides getting to spend time with my family, is that we thankfully had the money for Nate to start a masters class.  He had been wanting to do that for a long time, so it was a good thing he was able to get his foot in the door.

On a less happy note,  shortly after my last post, my grandfather had to go into the hospital.  He had lost circulation in his leg and they found a blood clot.  Unfortunately they were unable to get to it in time and he had to lose his leg.  We thought after that, that he would recover.  I mean he was in shock trauma so we knew that anything could happen.  But none of us really thought that "anything" would actually happen.  He spent weeks getting better only to take a step backwards.  And eventually come November it seemed as if the step backwards were more often.  Then sadly the weekend of November 16th, "anything" was happening.  To us.  To him.  To this great man.  The "anything" that I swore couldn't happen to him, was happening.  On November 15th we all spent the day with him.  He was not able to talk to us, but he was able to see us, acknowledge he knew we were there.  Smile.  See a video of his great grandchildren saying good morning and asking to see it again.  I stayed with him and my family from the morning until midnight knowing I had to get home to be with Oliver.  But we were all with him that day, listening to his favorite songs, telling him about our lives, watching him smile.  It was a tough night at home.  I held my breath, sleeping very lightly, waiting to hear the phone ring.  I heard it all night long and prayed it would never come.  The next day, the 16th, I sat and played Plants vs Zombies ignoring the outside world except for Oliver, waiting, never looking at the clock again praying the phone wouldn't ring.  At some point during Oliver's nap, I looked up and realized I had been in a trance.  I looked at the clock and wondered why we hadn't at least had an update.  About 20 minutes later, it rang.  That call that the "anything" had happened to us, approximately 20 minutes ago.  I handed the phone to my dad and went up and sat in the shower for a long time after calling Nate to tell him the news.  I cried and cried and cried, but the water protected me from feeling like I was crying.  And I told my pop pop I would wait for him in my dreams to tell me he was ok. And then after I got out, I went back to putting on a tough face.  The next day may have been the only day I have ever asked to be allowed to sleep in since Oliver came home.  Nate took him down stairs for me and I fell back to sleep.  And I dreamed of a voice.... a voice I'd heard numerous times in the same way.  "hey Jess, it's pop pop"  The same way that voice had announced himself on the other end of my cell phone for years.  "I'm home"  And then I woke up.  And I just sat there for a while, before beginning the first day of a new life without him.

Two months and twelve days have gone by.  It's still hard.  We still dont do entire grocery trips and we still get choked up that he's gone.  So much of our lives were him.  But thank goodness we knew that already.  It didn't take him passing away for us to know the greatness we had in our lives.  We didn't  have burned bridges, or should haves.  We didn't wish we had talked to him more or seen him more.  I still see him in every turn, hear his voice saying "hey check this out" like he did when he wanted to show us something.  I watched Revenge for him and to help me always feel him I ordered myself a double infinity necklace with a November stone on it to remember that it was a time we all fought hard together and celebrated a great life.  I won't lie, I still look for his emails that never come and I still look at our family pictures watching carry around Meghan's stuff or her in the early morning sunrise, so proud of his ham of a great grandson.  I still look through that book with a picture I took to show him on the last day he saw Oliver and Lyla and thank the dear heavens that they both woke up from naps in time to come down and see him.  And I will keep my broken kitchen chicken until the end of time because he fixed it once and I was going to ask him to fix it again.  It's going to heal I know it, but for now if it hurts because I'm still trying to make sure I can feel him, that's alright with me!

On a lighter note.... yesterday I FINALLY turned 27 on the 27th when it was (kid you not) 27 degrees outside :)  It was a great day.  I managed to catch registration or this years Great Cloth Diaper Change in time to register both me/Oliver and Jeanne/Noah in the first 50 which means we get gift bags!!!  Exciting right ;)  I'm so glad to be doing it this year with Jeanne.  I never would have thought that one day we would be changing our kids cloth diapers to be breaking a world record together lol  I did my laundry.  Believe it or not I like doing my laundry on Mondays so trust me, doing laundry on my birthday was no big deal!  I have great friends who both decided I needed shaws, which face it, I did considering I went from none to two in the same week.  And they know me so well.... the one from Lyndsay was a purple one and the one from Jeanne was a Tardis blue one.  Perfect!  Grandma came over for dinner an played with Oliver which I always love to see.  I wasted two hours watching the Bachelor, man Claire is a brat!  She needs to go! :)  And at exactly 6:41 I took a picture of my phone of the time I officially turned 27 on the 27th and it was 27 degrees!  I'm a happy camper!

I think even with all the rollercoasters we might be deciding to go ahead with the house.  When Nate gets home we are going to run the numbers one more time.  It needs repairs and we have to pay full closing, crappy!  But I think this is going to be worth it because we will be in this completely 100% together regardless of how it turns out.

Oliver is growing growing growing.  He is too tall to wear 2t shirts, but 3t and 4t look swimming on him lol  I cut his hair for the first time last week.  Oh my!  It's kind of uneven, but at least it's not to his shoulders any more and I can even up the one side thats longer than the other when I finish recovering from the actual event of cutting it in the first place!  On his second birthday he had 50 words to say.  Now he is starting to put those words together.  He says kitty water and daddy's brush!  Those are my favorites.  He can do a puzzle by himself now.  And besides the vacuum which I don't know if he will ever not love, he loves jumping on the bed :)  He likes to play in the play places at malls and likes to eat crackers and drink his "wawer" which is water!  He amazes me every day and I've lost track of all the ways he's growing up.  It's not always perfect, he's a tough little guy sometimes, but the sweetest thing in the world so I have no genuine complaints :)

Well, that's an overview.  In 15 minutes I have to go do my school pick up job so I have to get going.  The blog flow I had this morning was interrupted by my dad needing the computer, so Im all out of things to say for now anyways, which also is my excuse for why I haven't written, just haven't known what to say.

Thanks for reading, and maybe check back for some pictures when I can get a hold of my mom's laptop sometime to upload some!

Almost Two!

We have had such a busy busy summer.... and my sweet little guy is a busy one!  He had his first airplane flight in August to meet his Great Grandma and Grandpa in Washington state!  Two air ports and two time zones, seven hours of traveling, one family reunion and meeting lots of new people, then the same two airports and time zones home.  He was a trooper and his great grandparents LOVED him :)  It was heart warming to see how much they cared about someone they had only seen pictures of, some people live their whole lives in the same area and don't have that much love for each other!  It was an exciting trip and we were amazed and proud of how well Oliver did the entire time!  Not a week later, Aunt Suzanne, mommy and Oliver went down to visit Uncle Danny, Aunt Debbie and cousin Abby for a week.  We went to the zoo, played in the pool and just had a good time with our family that we don't get to see often enough.

Coming home, it was time to get back into the swing of daily life!  We got back on routine.... breakfast, play time, nap, lunch, playtime, nap, dinner play time, bed... you know, the whole parenting drill!  Football season officially started with a monumental LOSS lol but Oliver was ready to go with his new ravens onesies and jersey!  I didn't know it but the jersey was a 2T and was huge on him last year (go figure) but it was a good thing because it fits perfectly this year!

So we skipped straight to saying "He's almost 2".  I remember impatiently waiting to be able to say he is 18 months and we were so busy we just flew straight through that.  "A year and a half" was mouthful and you can see people doing the math when you say "21 months"  So easy fix: "He's almost 2" or "He'll be 2 in December" Much easier!  BUT, in saying that it hits me in a way I haven't been hit before that I have an almost two year old!  What!?!  I've taken care of many other people's two year olds, but nothing compares to when it's your own.  And I love it!  Every second of it!  Even when life is pushing me a little past my comfort level, it feels good to know I can handle it :)  I can handle the up at 3 A.Ms unable to breathe through my nose because that is seemingly the only way that children repay you for all the love and dedication through their stomach bugs and snotty noses; is to spread their germs to you! And still after all the crazy nights I've spent cleaning up, changing lovely messy diapers, refereeing the cats, saying no a million times more than I want to, sick myself etc still after all that, I don't know what on this green Earth I would do without getting up at 7 A.M and feeding the boy his oatmeal!  He is a full fledged toddler now, climbing everything, pushing every button he can find, running around dumping toys (and things he's not supposed to touch) But I can't imagine anything more amazing than watching this little boy grow!

And grow he has!  He would like everyone to know he is finally on the charts!!!!  He had a routine NICU follow up appointment yesterday and for once I didn't come home wanting to pull my hair out because they weren't satisfied with the things he could do, but all too willing to grill me for the things he couldn't do!  Well yesterday they were very pleased with him.  In between 18 months (adjusted age) and 21 months, he needed to have at least 9 words, he has 12 and 4 signs!  He could do all the things for 18 months and half the things for 21 months and they were very pleased with how the gap is closing :)  And he is officially on the growth charts!  He is in the 5th percentile for weight (19 pounds 6oz) and the 10th for height (31 and a half inches).  Doesn't seem like much, and I was never concerned that he wasn't on them before, but it's almost like a little triumph for him after we've been working SO hard to help him gain weight with obstacles of back to back colds and two stomach bugs in the last 6 months.

Anyways, mommy is off to get some reading and diaper washing in during nap time :)  Thanks for reading and I hope to post some of the beautiful pictures from our trip to Washington soon!

Anniversary Birthday Day!!!

Today is "Anniversary Birthday Day"!  As Suzanne and I have officially named it!  Today my one and only lovely sister turns 17 :)  And Nate and I celebrate our 4th anniversary!  We have been very busy lately. With some traveling, Kateri and Arthur visiting from Texas, getting family pictures taken.  It's been a very fun summer so far, a hot one too, but it's not over yet.  We still have places to go and people to see and hopefully more great pictures to share... if mommy survives all the running here and there that is!!!

July 19th 2009

2013

You can also check out the rest of the pictures my good friend Meghan was so lovely to do for us here: http://mrosephoto.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-tilleys-maryland-family-photographer.html

My baby sister is growing up....

Almost 10 years ago I graduated highschool.  I forgot not to blink and suddenly Suzanne it's Suzanne's turn, how is that possible?!?

My friends and I graduating in 2004!

4 mommies and 4 babies...

I don't have too much to say on this one.... but I just really wanted to post this picture, because it's a beautiful one of our mommy group and our fantastic children!  With the addition of new baby Jonathan (who I finally got to meet for the first time this day), we are all complete! With our very real every day lives filled with joy and challenges, strengths and weaknesses, awesome days and the not so great days, I am grateful that we all have each other, no matter what!

Alisha and Jonathan, Kim and Rylee, Meghan and Axton, me and Oliver.... such a great picture to have to look back and remember the times when we were all first time mommies, raising our beautiful babies together!

Last Saturday...

... was one of those crazy awesome whirlwind kind of days.  So much to do, and not one thing would have been worth kicking off the list to make it less busy!  In the morning we had a yard sale at my parent's house. Let me just say, I got my exercise for the whole year lol  And by we, I mostly mean me and my dad in the beginning and so by we I mean a lot of me running back and forth answering people's questions and attempting while miserably failing to make change for people (note to people, do not wipe a girl out of her one dollar bills 5 minutes after the yard sale starts, not cool!)  So eventually everyone got up and running and things were still crazy but we got a rhythm going,  The other thing about yard sales is that when you're the one running it, it seems like a lot more time passes than what actually does.  Since I had to leave half way through, I kept panicking that I had lost track of time only to find that 5 minutes had gone by (note to self, wear a watch next time!)

So, about my having to leave half way through.  There are two weekends this year during which everything decided to be on one of those two Saturdays.  I had always wanted to do the yard sale on my grandparents street, turns out that's the same day as my friend's wedding, for which I will be in Georgia!  SO that's a no go.  So then there is the 20th.... I already had two things planned in advance.... the Great Cloth Diaper Change at our consignment store to break the world record of the most cloth diapers changed at one time AND our church talent show in the evening to raise money for a 4th octave of handbells.  As I'm driving down my parents street a bit ago, I see the sign for their multi family yard sale that the corner house always arranges and I think "oh fantastic, this will take the place of that other one I can't make it to"  As I search for the date on the sign, why am I not surprised, the 20th!!!!!  Any sane person would say, oh well, next time.  But I am not that person.  The other yard sale goes twice a year, but I have summer things to sell and this one only goes in the spring.  So I knew that way my only shot!  So I add it to the list.  On top of that, we also found out that my sister was invited to a dance, also the same day!  So that makes FOUR things.

I rush off to the GCDC in the middle of the yard sale.... if you ever go to a record breaking event, take a baby carrier, don't second guess it like I did!  My arm was killing me by the end of the day from holding Oliver while going around collecting Bingo signatures with the other hand.  I don't know what I expected, but the insanity that came with 11 O'clock was outstanding!  Everyone got their own square just barely big enough to fit themselves let alone a baby or in my case a tall skinny toddler baby. You also had to have a changing pad and in my case I had to have a blanket for Oliver to be distracted by chewing on in hopes that he wouldn't freak out like he usually does when I change his diaper at home.  So they are yelling one minute to changing diapers and I'm just praying my kid doesn't turn over and tear off diaper less through the crowd of other moms, many of whom were probably hoping the same thing.  We hold up our clean diapers for the before pictures and when they yell change, I move as fast as humanly possible, forgoing the wipe concept since I knew that would only get in the way (plus i had changed him before we left too so that I knew he wouldn't be needing one) and to my surprise, he thought the whole thing was funny and didn't budge!  So what, do I need a room full of people and someone to yell "change" for him not to throw a fit at home???  Somehow I think he would catch on eventually!  So just as fast as we all got in, we also got out!  I was ready to go home big time so I got his picture taken and got our gift bag and off we went!  Fun fun event!!!

Then home to curl my sister's hair for her dance... unfortunately I didn't get to see her and her date before they left because I had to skip off to the church to practice for the talent show, but I've seen the pictures and she was particularly lovely and I was glad I at least got to help even a little bit!  Hey, hair is a very important part of said dances, right?

And last but not least.... the talent show!  It was such a nice night!  After taking Oliver from my mom's back to his daddy at home, I rushed (responsibly of course) over to the church for the last part of my day.  It was actually kind of the most relaxing part of the day because while I was busy, it was just me... no baby, no change, no diapers etc!  I sang with my good friends, our bell performances went as smoothly as they could go.  We played Over the Rainbow and a phantom of the Opera medley which was really cool!  One of our I bought some things in the silent auction and some of the baked good from the youth group oh and I was in a skit too :) lol I usually don't like to be in front of people, but I admit this was really fun.  We all just had a nice, laid back, easy going night.

So at the end of the day, I made 36 dollars, learned how to bargain and deal with people just looking to make a profit off my stuff (that was fun!), set a world record using my kid's diaper, got up and sang in front of people without dying!, and spent my last $10 on junk food, the best coconut bread on the face of the planet and auction items I probably didn't need!  At the end of which I quickly passed out in bed without even knowing my husband came in or when!  I would like to say that's the end of being busy..... but that most likely won't be til mid May.  But Kateri and Arthur are visiting from Texas this weekend and I CAN'T WAIT to see them... so I know it's all worth it!

Thanks for reading!  And here are some pictures from the diaper change :)

  

A Fantastic Day to be Catholic...

We have a Pope!!!!

At approximately 2:07, Oliver and I watched as the smoke started to come out of the chimney.... within seconds it was clear it was turning white!!!  All my waiting all day paid off.... there was a lot of opinion that it wouldn't be today, but I had a feeling it would be!

And then about an hour later.... mind you this is how my son waits for the new Pope...

After a lot of waiting and cheering....

We are popeless no more!  This is the second time I've been able to see when the new Pope was elected!  God bless and long live our new Pope Francis!